i have not written on there in so long. I just need to vent a little bit. i’m sure people get tired of hearing people vent on online outlets. but here goes nothing. 

ever since coming back from south africa, i have felt like a piece of my heart has been missing. people don’t understand me here, nor do they even care. i feel alone, most of he time even if i don’t show it. 

i dont really feel like i have a purpose here. everyone has moved on in their friendships and the people i went to south africa with arent very intentional and we havent really been there for each other. i just miss the old times when we did everything together and we were so invested in each others lives. 

i feel very alone. i don’t really have very close close relationships. they are all surface level. all acquaintances. no one knows me, i mean like really knows me and my heart. 

i guess that is a good thing, it keeps it protected. 

Lord come, fill me up lord, fill me up with your love and joy. remind me that you are always with me, I pray i feel your presence tonight. 

okay whew, done. i think.